Can we say NO to others?

Can we say NO to others?

Are you a person who is never able to authentically say “no” when you feel you don’t want to do what they’re asking?  Because you are afraid of hurting their feelings, because they will be sad, or angry, or accuse you of being selfish, uncaring, or reject you?  So you repress your own desires, do what they want you to do, and don’t have to deal with their negative feelings, while you do have to deal with your own discontent and regret – and maybe you then blame them as the reason for you feeling dissatisfied.

If you really want to make the world a better place for everyone including yourself, then you have to be honest and authentic in dealing with the world. If you’re not, you can’t blame others, or complain about them being dishonest and not keeping their word or promises. Look at how often we have those complaints around corporations, politicians, and presidents of nations, when we are not honest and authentic in our relationship with ourselves.

When we say YES to our friend, and we really want to say NO, it’s not because we are trying to be nice to them, but we want to avoid their negative reaction, which then might be painful to us. That’s a selfish reason for not saying NO, and then you still have your own negative feelings about doing what you really don’t want to do.

You are primarily responsible for yourself and your own feelings, and you must agree that being totally honest and authentic is the best policy.  So it’s okay to give yourself permission to say NO when for you, that is what you need and want. The feelings of others are not your responsibility!  They freely choose those, just as you must freely choose yours.

If you want to live a healthy life, you need to have healthy boundaries, and that means, you no longer fear the reactions of others and do what is best for you. It means you have full responsibility for your life and your choices.

Try it, and see how empowered, happy and authentic you feel!

Trying to make other people happy doesn’t necessarily mean you will succeed, but it does mean you are making yourself miserable.  If everyone did this, saying YES when they mean NO, nobody on this earth would be happy! Just think this through, and see if you want to be a part of such a world.  It all starts with YOU!